Today I sat at my computer working and Caleb ran in for my help turning on his Beat Bow Wow toy. He said, “Help, Mommy. Thank you, Mommy. I love you, Mommy.” and then ran back to his bedroom to show the singing and dancing robot dog to his big brother. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched his cute little diapered butt hurry away and listened to the pitter patter of his bare feet head back down the hall.
Little moments like this make me feel like I’ve won the lottery. Those sweet little snippets bring me so much joy and remind me just how lucky I am to be where I’m at. I can take a deep breath and soak in the fact that I’m getting to do exactly what I want to be doing. It’s also these moments that I need to cling to when “living the dream” isn’t quite so joy-filled. There are plenty of days when I feel stretched thin and like I can’t do a good job of anything, whether it’s housework, work work, or mom work. I have some great kids, but the moments when I can enjoy them playing contently in their room together while I get work done are few and far between.
The summers between my college years, I spent working at a restaurant at the lake. One of the bartenders I worked with would almost always respond to a question about how he was doing with, “Oh, I’m just living the dream, man, living the dream.” I loved that response every single time. Some days, it almost seemed ironic, in the heat of a Missouri summer, on a busy weekend shift, behind the bar of a restaurant with no AC! But his response was consistent. Perhaps he was looking past the customers at the bar posing that question, and instead taking in the phenomenal lake front views with the sun shining on the water and beautiful tree covered bluffs. Life is all about perspective.
When I was working in the office after Gage was born, I longed so badly to be home with him. I get to now, along with his little brother, and I try really hard not to take that for granted. I’m grateful for the time I spent as a mom working outside the home because it gives me perspective I wouldn’t have otherwise. It’s not hard to think back to a few years ago when I was doing all I could to keep my head above water in every single area of my life and remember how badly I wanted to stay home. It was my dream, and it’s been realized. I mean it when I say that. But even with that being true, it doesn’t mean every day is a walk in the park.
I think we have a tendency to think of living the dream as having it made. As if we’ve arrived and things come easily from there on out. What I’m learning is that dreams are different than fairy tales. They are hard work, not just to attain, but to maintain. But when it’s what you truly desire, that work is worth it. It doesn’t mean that you’ll love every single part of it, but realizing that doing the hard stuff is what allows you to have the good stuff can help keep the joy alive.
I also realize that dreams can change with time or circumstances. I didn’t always want to be a stay-at-home mom. Even when I was pregnant with Gage, by no means was my heart completely set on that. But with our situation, it became the desire of my heart. Knowing how dreams evolve makes me anticipate new ones down the road and reinforces the idea that living the dream isn’t about reaching a final destination. It’s an active, changing, awesome, messy, hard, wonderful and joyful experience. I may not know now what shape my dreams will take in the future, or what role I’ll play in trying to do what’s best for my family. But my hope is that when I’m asked the question about how things are going, I’ll be able to consistently say, “oh, I’m just living the dream.”
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4