Lately it seems like the appointments just keep coming. It could be for Gage’s botox, hearing check, neurologist visit, nutritionist, EEG, or any number of other things. Sprinkle in a few of my own doctor visits and a busy season at work, and it can feel overwhelming.
For several months, I’ve been needing to take Gage to the eye doctor and I just keep putting it off. His former doctor is no longer in Springfield and once he left and our visit was cancelled I never followed through with rescheduling. I keep telling myself that I will once things slow down a little and there are less things filling up our schedule. But that day never seems to come.
We hear a lot about the light at the end of the tunnel. Heck, I’ve talked a lot about it. But it can be hard to take comfort in the idea that we’re so close, we just need to keep going and it will be better and easier soon. Because sometimes that’s not reality. When we get through an especially busy season of appointments and follow up visits, and I look to my calendar, hopeful to see week after week of empty days, that’s not what I find.
Instead of focusing on the finish, the promise of a burden lifted, the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, I think I’d be better served to look for the light IN the tunnel. That flicker of hope and fighting spirit even when things seem tough or overwhelming. The reminders that even if you’re in a funk, you don’t always have to stay there. When I try, I can see and feel the constant presence of that light in the tunnel, in the midst of everything else. It comes in the form of kind offers of help from good friends, encouraging words, verses, or song lyrics, and reminders that I’m not alone in my struggles.
Ultimately, I seek comfort, joy and peace through my faith in Jesus. Instead of waiting for one day—for the empty calendar I’ll likely never have or for things to just feel a little easier—I’ll try to focus on all the good stuff that’s present even in the middle of the difficulty or chaos. I’ll keep looking for the light in the tunnel.