Leap of Faith

barb and gage
Tiny baby Gage with his sweet and thoughtful pal Barb.

“Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith.” This is printed on a magnet given to me from Barb, one of my favorite coworkers, on my last day in the office. Barb’s an amazing person and friend and has a knack for giving the perfect gifts. This statement rings so true for me related to my decision to stay home with the boys. What once seemed impossible is now our reality.

I spent countless hours reviewing our budget, exploring different insurance options and trying to find any way possible that made sense for us to give up half our income. That was such a scary thought, but my desire to be home just would not go away. We’re only a few months in, and of course we’ve had to make some changes, but I think Evan and I have both been surprised that we haven’t felt more strapped than we have. When we crunched the numbers on paper, we expected to be dipping into savings by now, but that hasn’t happened yet. It’s amazing the way we’ll end up with a pleasant surprise from one source or another, and having just what we need.

I have to remind myself of the ways we’ve been taken care of each step of the leap of faithway. It’s so easy and tempting to worry about the future. In just a few months, Gage will age out of the First Steps program and the assistance we’ve had in paying for equipment will go away. The next hurdle to get past will come when my COBRA insurance coverage runs out and we have to make tough choices about our next steps. All of that is very daunting, but if we’ve been taken care of so far, I have to believe that trend will continue. I hope I’m not being blindly optimistic, because I realize we’ll likely still face many challenges ahead.  But when I have no other way to keep moving forward, I’ll look at that magnet on my fridge and remember to use the only mode of transportation I have left—a leap of faith.