From the outside looking in, you might see our family’s situation and first and foremost, notice our limitations. Sure, there are some things that slow us down a bit. We have extra equipment to lug around, need to give a little more thought to planning meals on the go, and don’t have the option to just hold the boys’ hands while we cross the street. To some degree, we’re limited on where we live since school districts are a crucial consideration or what insurance plan we choose because of an extensive list of doctors we’d like to keep.
Something that may not occur to you at first, but I hope you’d be able to see if you look a little closer, is the freedom that comes along with our reality. Extra challenges in life tend to have a way of putting things into perspective. A change in perspective has helped free me from worries that used to bog me down. Things that seemed important to me at one point in my life have turned into trivial details.
These days, I’m free from the obsession to be a certain size or weight. My fitness level and waistline have varied over the years, but what I value now has more to do with how I feel than how I look. I want to be healthy so I can take care of my family, and I’m not trying to dismiss the importance of working out and eating right. But the feelings of failure each time I exceed a certain number of calories or don’t get in as many workouts as I planned are virtually gone.
Having a spotless house or the latest and greatest material things also seem less important now. Anyone who knows me well could tell you that house cleaning has never been a huge priority for me. But when I feel like ignoring dirty dishes for a bit so I can focus on reading bedtime stories to my boys instead, I don’t struggle with guilt over it. Deciding to stay home and give up a big chunk of our income also came with some sacrifices in our spending habits, but it was 100% worth it. A break from work responsibilities was just the shift in perspective I needed to learn to better manage stress.
Even though parenting a child with a disability can come along with limitations and challenges, it also offers a certain amount of freedom. Freedom from things like materialism and pressure to live up to certain standards. Freedom achieved through a different perspective. Freedom that I’m very grateful to have.
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32
You have an heavenly perspective sweet Hannah. God does indeed bring good out of our circumstances. More of Him, less of me. Love your heart for your family and for the Lord.
Thank you so much, Lori! We can all use more of Him, right?